Čivkzbirka #4

Ker je od zadnje zbirke minilo že nekaj časa, se je robe nabralo vsaj za dve objavi. I will serve it to you slow and easy.
Tokrat brez mojih nadležnih komentarjev:

Jst bom penzijo docaku na #lpp … kar je mal hecno, ker nisem zaposlen na LPP.

— Fetalij W. Tyschew (@tyschew) April 3, 2013

A lahko en olivni aplavz, k ne maram bučnega?

— Savič Domen (@savicdomen) April 12, 2013

Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?

— Eric O'Brien (@OBiiieeee) April 13, 2013

"In, ste imeli dober obisk na koncertu?" "Pa, ni bilo prav veliko ljudi. Žensk je bilo kar precej, ljudi pa res malo." #dobrepolje

— Špela Nose (@MelodyJunkie) April 28, 2013

Lahkotnost, s katero mi je mati pravkar razodela, da je bratov avto zgorel, daje slutiti o siceršnji bizarnosti naših družinskih pogovorov ♥

— Špela Nose (@MelodyJunkie) April 29, 2013

When will British Airways realise that babies belong in the hold?

— Jeremy Clarkson (@JeremyClarkson) May 3, 2013

A U.S. plane crashed in Kyrgyzstan. I don't know what it landed on but it probably wasn't a vowel

— Sean Emeny (@SeanEmeny) May 3, 2013

Kaj dobiš, če pustiš svoj Laško zunaj, ko pride ujma? Točano pivo…

— Sašo (@JsSmRenton) May 4, 2013

Beseda ni konj. Nekateri avtorji besed so pa druga zgodba.

— Sara Mekinc (@Jinxovje) May 6, 2013

BMW have recalled all their cars with a fault. One was seen with an indicator working.

— sickipediabot (@sickipediabot) May 10, 2013

@megafotr pazi kako jo boš izpiho, ker se zmečka pol pri zlaganju. #izkusnje

— Taksist Ibro (@LJ_Taksist) May 14, 2013

Droga ne prodaja heroina, Kolinska nima niti enega pujsa, Peko sploh peči nima, Tuš nima kabine, Gorenje pa je brez gasilcev. #WTF

— Sašo (@JsSmRenton) May 23, 2013

*požarni alarm* Ooo mami spet neki peče. 😛

— Urška Sonček (@UrskaSoncek) June 5, 2013

"He's so rich his Rolls Royces are made out of Lamborghinis!" #qotd

— Sašo (@JsSmRenton) June 10, 2013

"I'm here for disappointment." Said the Jamaican, arriving for his appointment. (via @LittleLostLad)

— sickipediabot (@sickipediabot) June 10, 2013

I saw a fat guy today and told him, "You're a big boy!" He said, "tell me something I don't know." So I said, "Salad tastes good…"

— Not Will Ferrell (@itsWillyFerrell) June 18, 2013

VKLENITE BRATUŠKOVO! RT @Firbec: LJ ZOO jutri dobi dva geparda s Švedske, prvič jih bomo imeli v Sloveniji – zdaj veste 🙂

— Cesen (@CesenJeZakon) June 20, 2013

Sky News: "A million brazilian protesters take to the streets !"… Wow…Thats even more than a trillion grazilian, I think.

— sickipediabot (@sickipediabot) June 21, 2013

Kolk plute je še ostal na Plutonu? Tolk flaš smo zaštofal že, da mora pol "planeta" manjkat.

— Sašo (@JsSmRenton) June 30, 2013

My wife just said, "It says here that women use over 70 percent more words than men." I said, "Really?"

— sickipediabot (@sickipediabot) June 30, 2013

How to order scrambled eggs like a boss: I would like four eggs beaten beyond recognition.

— Pametnjakovič (@PametnaRit) July 1, 2013

Če bi bil France 'MC Jaunty' Prešeren rapper. pic.twitter.com/uDHgWEeDfY

— Sašo (@JsSmRenton) July 4, 2013

Slovenci zmoremo na desnem pasu vozit samo v večpasovnih krožiščih.

— Danijel Mihelj (@komunalc) July 4, 2013

Sodobna četvorka: Ctrl-C, Alt-Tab, Tab, Ctrl-V.

— magrateja (@magrateja) July 5, 2013

Hudo. Po celi SLO poročajo o tisočih klicev medijem. Ljudje jokajo v telefon od hvaležnosti,direktiva o piškotkih jim je rešila življenje…

— Fetalij W. Tyschew (@tyschew) July 11, 2013

"Danes mi bolj GPRS vleče," je nov "dolge kable imam."

— Sašo (@JsSmRenton) July 12, 2013

Multi-tasking: Twice the mistakes in half the time.

— Not Will Ferrell (@itsWillyFerrell) July 13, 2013

Aja, no. Mogoče se da pa vse stlačit v eno objavo, evo.